Chapter 6 - The Girl With His Eyes

Kayla came on a Saturday morning.
She drove herself, four hours from Reno, and then she parked at the curb and sat in her car for a solid ten minutes before she got out. I watched from the front window and didn't go rush her. She needed those ten minutes. I understood that.
When she finally knocked, I was the one who opened the door.
She was twenty-two, and she had Dale's eyes exactly. Same shape. Same odd gray-green. It was like looking at a piece of my husband that had been living somewhere else this whole time, growing up without any of us, turning into a whole separate person.
"Mrs. Brennan?" she said.
"Nadine," I said. "Please. Come in."
She stepped inside carefully, like somebody who'd been raised not to take up too much room. She was holding a small bunch of yellow flowers, and she held them out with both hands.
"I didn't know if I should bring something," she said. "I almost didn't. Then it felt rude to show up empty-handed."
"They're beautiful," I said. "Thank you."
Cole came out of the kitchen, and the second Kayla saw him, her whole face changed. The careful politeness dropped off it and something real came through underneath — mostly relief.
"You actually came," Cole said.
"You actually invited me," she shot back.
They stood there grinning at each other like a couple of fools, and something in my chest let go that I hadn't known was clenched.
Dale was in the living room. He'd been sitting in the armchair by the window since eight that morning, a newspaper open on his knee that he never turned a page of. I walked Kayla to the doorway.
Dale looked up. He saw her eyes — his own eyes, aimed back at him — and whatever he'd been holding together since sunrise just left him. His face came apart. He pressed one hand hard over his mouth.
Kayla looked at him a long moment.
"Hi," she said. Her voice was steady. Steadier than any of ours had been in days.
"Hi," Dale managed.
She came in and sat on the sofa across from him. Not close, not far. A reasonable distance between two strangers who aren't really strangers.
"I'm not here to be angry at you," she said. "I want to say that up front. My mom wasn't angry either, by the end. She said she made her own choices too. She said she could've pushed harder and didn't, and she owned that."
Dale nodded. He couldn't speak yet.
"I just wanted to know," Kayla said. "That's all this ever was. I wanted to know where I came from. What the other half of me looked like."
"And now?" Dale said, his voice sandpaper.
Kayla tilted her head a little.
"Now I know you've got gray-green eyes and you sit in armchairs with newspapers you don't read." A small pause. "And apparently you've got a son who's a genuinely incredible dancer. I've watched every video online. He's unbelievable."
Dale looked at Cole, who was leaning in the doorway.
"He is," Dale said quietly, like it cost him something to get it out. "He really is."
Cole went absolutely still.
In twenty years, Dale had never once said that. Not in any form. I watched something cross my son's face too fast to name and disappear before it fully landed, and I thought: that one sentence just did more than any fight ever could.
We had lunch, the four of us. It was awkward in some spots and easy in others, the way things go when people are actually trying to be honest and mostly pulling it off.
Afterward, Dale asked Kayla if she wanted to see some old photographs, family ones from before Cole was born. She said yes. They sat together on the sofa for two hours, Dale talking and Kayla listening, and once — just once — I heard her laugh from the other room.
It was, exactly as Cole had said, my own laugh coming back at me from a stranger.
That night, after Kayla had gone back to her hotel and Cole had fallen asleep on the sofa, Dale found me in the kitchen.
"I need to tell you something else," he said.
I turned around. His face told me it wasn't small.
"There's something in those letters Cole doesn't know about yet," he said. "Something Rhonda wrote to me privately, years later. I never showed it to anybody. I kept it separate from the rest."
He set an envelope on the counter between us.
"You need to read it before we go any further," he said. "Because it changes things. For Cole most of all."
I looked at the envelope. Then at my husband.
"How much more is there, Dale?"
May you like
He didn't answer.
Which was its own kind of answer.