Chapter 4 - The Notebook
I shut my eyes and gripped the camera until the plastic creaked. I thought about the gas receipt in my wallet. I thought about Renee. I thought about all those birthdays I'd sat at that wobbly kitchen table with a pen, writing to three girls who were already asleep down the hall.
Back then I'd told myself maybe they'd read it someday and maybe they wouldn't, and either way I'd put down what needed saying.
Then Sadie started to read.
"To my girls. You're one year old today. I don't know if you'll ever read this, and I don't know if I'll still be getting it right by the time you do — but I wanted to write it down anyway."
Something cold went straight down my spine.
I knew those words. I knew the rhythm of them. I knew the man who'd written them, alone at a kitchen table over a hardware store, three babies sharing one crib because he couldn't swing a second one.
I knew because that man was me.
Sadie kept going. "I'm 27. I'm scared all the time. I don't know how to be a father. But I know I'm not going anywhere."
I came out of my chair. My knees hit the floor and the camera nearly went with them.
The man next to me caught my elbow and eased me back onto the seat. I couldn't look at him.
When Sadie said "our father," she meant me. She'd meant me the whole time.
Up on stage, she stopped reading, looked straight down the row at the crying man in seat seven, and kept going.
"To my three girls. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be what you need. But I'm going to stay. I'll never be the dad you deserve — but I'll be the one who shows up."
Nora took over where her sister's voice gave out.
"I promise you breakfast every morning, even when it's burnt. I promise you'll never once wonder where I am."
Piper read the last entry.
"I love you more than I knew a person could love anything. Happy first birthday."
The whole auditorium blurred.
Then Sadie came down the steps and knelt next to me. She put a framed court order into my shaking hands.
"We filed months ago," she said. "It went through last week."
I couldn't read a word of it. My hands were going too hard.
"We found what our biological father left on that porch," Nora said into the mic. "You were never our uncle. You were always our dad."
Piper wiped her face up on stage. "We just made the paperwork say what was already true."
May you like
Sadie stood and put her arms around me. The whole room got to its feet.
I don't remember walking out.
