Chapter 4 - What Vanessa Already Knew

I didn't sleep. I lay in the borrowed guest room — the room they'd put me in on day one, the room that still felt like a place I was being allowed to stand temporarily — and stared at the ceiling and thought about a woman who had looked my father in the eye in 1989 and told him I was dead.
By six I was dressed. By six-thirty I was in the kitchen.
Vanessa was already there, still in her robe, both hands around a coffee mug. She looked at me the way you look at a bill you were hoping had already been paid.
"You're up early."
"Didn't sleep."
She turned back to the counter. "That makes two of us."
I poured a cup. For a minute neither of us said anything. The kitchen was huge and bright and full of morning light that felt like it belonged to some other family.
"I want to ask you something," I said.
"I'm sure you do."
"Do you know a woman named Eleanor?"
Her hand went still on the mug. Just for a second. Then she set it down and turned around.
"Where did you get that name?"
"From the papers my father left me."
Her jaw set.
"Eleanor is a family friend. She's known us for thirty years. Whatever Edward wrote about her—"
"He wrote that she told him I died at birth."
The silence stretched out long and flat.
Vanessa didn't crumble. Her face went the other way — it hardened, closed like a fist.
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Then tell me. Explain it."
"There's nothing to explain. Eleanor has been part of this family since before I was born. She loved my father. Whatever that lawyer poured in your ear, he's dressing it up to protect a will a dying man signed while he was on morphine."
"He changed it six days after I got here," I said. "That's not a confused man. That's a man who finally got the one chance he'd been waiting years for."
"He was grieving. He was medicated. He was—"
"He was my father too, Vanessa."
She flinched. Small. But I saw it.
"Don't," she said. "Don't you stand in his kitchen and act like you had a relationship. You had seven days."
"I didn't get to choose the other thirty-one years. Someone chose them for me."
"And I didn't choose any of this either." Her voice cracked once, then she yanked it back under control. "I built my whole adult life around this family. I gave up things you will never understand, to be here, to take care of him, to keep everything running while he was dying in that room. And you show up, and in one week he tears it all up and hands it to you."
"I never asked him to."
"It doesn't matter what you asked." She picked the mug back up. Her hand was steady again. "I'm contesting the will. I've already met with my attorney. And Eleanor will testify that my father wasn't in his right mind at the end."
I put my cup down.
"Let me make sure I understand," I said slowly. "The woman who told my father his baby was dead is going to stand up in a courtroom and give testimony about his state of mind."
"Yes."
"And that doesn't bother you. Not at all."
Vanessa met my eyes and didn't blink.
"Not even a little."
I walked out. I didn't have anything else to say to her.
Upstairs I sat on the edge of the bed and called Howard.
"She knows about Eleanor," I said. "And she's not scared of her."
A pause. "I was afraid of that."
"What aren't you telling me, Howard?"
The pause got longer.
"Your father left one more thing," he said. "Not in either envelope. He handed it to me himself, with instructions to keep it until you called me with news exactly like this."
May you like
"What is it?"
"A recording," Howard said. "He made it about three weeks before he passed. I think you need to hear his voice before this goes any further."