Chapter 2 - The Slow Unraveling
The weeks blurred together after that. I pumped in the parking garage before meetings, reheated leftovers with one arm while bouncing Sofie on the other hip, and fielded fifty questions about dinosaurs from Kyle before I'd even gotten my shoes off.
Derek, meanwhile, developed a very consistent routine. That routine was the couch.
"Did you send out any applications today?" I asked one evening, stepping over a pile of laundry that had colonized the hallway.
"I'm networking," he said, not looking up from his phone.
"With who?"
"People. It's not really something you'd get, Maren."
I let that one go too.
The Renee comments multiplied like something left unrefrigerated. Over coffee. During diaper changes. In the middle of me trying to get Kyle to eat a single vegetable.
"You should see Renee's dance videos," Derek said one morning. "Athletic body, wears these little skirts, moves like she's twenty-two. You used to have that kind of energy."
I stopped wiping applesauce off Kyle's chin. My son stared up at me, a smear of it still stuck to his eyebrow.
"Derek, I had a baby five months ago."
"I'm just saying. Renee still finds time for herself."
"Renee is twenty-eight and doesn't have a newborn attached to her chest."
He shrugged like I'd just proven whatever point he'd been trying to make.
That night I tried, one more time, to have a real conversation.
"I need help around here," I said. "You're home all day. I'm not asking for a miracle. I'm asking for dishes."
"I'm dealing with a lot right now."
"So am I."
"It's different."
"How is it different?"
He didn't answer. He just picked up his phone and, once again, angled the screen away from me before he tapped it. I told myself I was imagining things. I told myself that a lot, right up until I couldn't anymore.
Small things started stacking up like a rickety tower about to fall. Derek started showering before Marcus and Renee came over — not a quick rinse, a full production, complete with the cologne he used to save for our anniversary.
"Big plans?" I teased, watching him fuss with his collar in the mirror.
"Just want to look decent."
"You looked decent yesterday in the same gym shorts you've worn since Tuesday."
"Very funny."
At lunch that weekend, Derek volunteered to drive Renee home because "Marcus had a thing." Marcus, judging by his confused expression, had no idea what that thing was supposed to be.
Renee caught my eye across the table and held it a second longer than felt casual.
Later that day she texted me — not about anything strange, just, "How are you doing, really? I made too much lasagna, want me to drop some off?" She started showing up more, holding Sofie so I could eat something with both hands, asking about my job like she actually cared about the answer.
I kept waiting for the catch. It never came.
"You seem tired, Maren," she said one afternoon, sitting cross-legged on my kitchen floor while Kyle showed her his entire dinosaur collection, one plastic figure at a time.
"I'm okay."
"You don't have to be okay with me."
I blamed the hormones for the sudden lump in my throat.
That same week, I tried to reclaim something for myself — one squat while the oatmeal spun in the microwave. How hard could it be? Very hard, apparently. Something in my lower back popped, and I froze halfway down, arms out like I was surrendering to an invisible army.
Kyle wandered in, studied me for a long moment, and tilted his head.
"Mommy, why are you stuck like a frog? Are you gonna hop?"
"No, sweetheart."
"Can you hop?"
"Not currently, no."
He nodded like that answer made perfect sense, opened the fridge, and helped himself to string cheese while his mother remained frozen by the microwave. I laughed until I cried, then very slowly straightened up like a folding chair with trust issues. It was the highlight of my week — being compared to a frog by a three-year-old.
That evening, Derek was at it again.
"Have you seen Renee lately? She's basically the definition of beautiful."
May you like
I kept my voice calm. "That's nice you've noticed. But beauty is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm just trying to survive the schedule I've got."
I actually believed he heard me. I was wrong about that too.
