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Chapter 3 - What Marcus Never Said

I sent the kids inside.

I didn't yell. I just said, "Go find yourselves a snack," in the voice that meant this is not up for discussion.

Nora took her brother by the hand and towed him through the door. It clicked shut behind them.

Then it was just the three of us on the porch.

My father still had the photo in his hand. His arm had dropped to his side, but his fingers wouldn't let go of it. I could see the white edge trembling against his pant leg.

"Somebody starts talking," I said. "Right now."

Neither of them moved.

"Marcus."

He raised his head. Same face I'd sat across from at the kitchen table for eight years — steady, careful, never one to open his mouth before he was sure. But something behind his eyes had shifted. Something that looked almost like relief, and that scared me worse than anything.

"There are things I should have told you a long time ago," he said.

"Then say them now."

He let out a slow breath. "Your father and my mother knew each other. Before you were born. Before I was born. Before he built the company. Before all of it."

I looked at my father. He hadn't moved.

"What does that mean?" I said.

"It means," Marcus said, "the man who hired me to drive his car already knew exactly who I was the day he did it."

Everything in me went hollow.

I turned to my father. "Is that true?"

He finally looked right at me. His jaw was tight. "It's more complicated than he's making it sound."

"Then un-complicate it."

"Your mother—" He stopped. Started over. "Before your mother, there was someone else. A woman. Almost two years, we were together. Her name was Carol."

Marcus went rigid.

"Carol," I repeated.

"She wasn't from our world," my father said — and even then, even standing on my porch with his gift bag spilled across the steps and his hands shaking, he said it the way he'd always said things like that. Like a fact. Not an apology. "Her family had nothing. I was young. I told myself it didn't matter. Later I understood that it did."

"You left her," I said.

"I ended it. Yes."

"Was she pregnant?"

The silence answered for him.

His eyes went to Marcus. "I didn't know. I swear to you, I did not know. Not until years later, when a letter came. Carol had died. There was a son. He was already grown by then." His voice dropped. "I told myself it was too late. That knocking on that door would only wreck two lives instead of one."

"So instead," I said slowly, "you hired him."

"I wanted to see—"

"You hired your own son to drive you around town."

My father flinched. It was small. Barely there. But I'd spent my whole life reading that face, and I caught it.

"I wanted to know what kind of man he turned out to be," he said quietly. "I told myself that was enough."

I looked at Marcus. "And you? When did you find out?"

"My mother left me a letter when she passed," he said. "I was twenty-two. She wrote down his name. Told me not to reach out unless I was sure I could handle whatever came back at me." He paused. "I wasn't sure. So I didn't. Then the job posting went up on his company's site, and I applied. I figured I'd get one look at him and walk away."

"That was six years before you and I ever met," I said.

"Yes."

"Six years you drove him. Six years you sat at my father's table on holidays. Six years, Marcus."

"I know."

"And you never said one word."

He didn't look away. "I didn't know how. Every month I waited, it got heavier. And then you and I happened, and—" He stopped. "I was scared of what it would do. To us. To you."

I flattened my hand against the porch rail because I needed to hold on to something that wasn't moving.

My father. My husband. Two men who'd been sitting on a truth that belonged to me, passing it back and forth in silence for years.

"So our kids," I said. My voice came out smaller than I wanted. "Our son. He looks like—"

"Like me," my father said. "The way I looked at that age. Exactly." He held the photo out to me, properly this time. "This was the summer I turned nine."

I took it.

May you like

The boy in the picture looked back at me with my son's eyes.

Inside the house, I heard little feet crossing the kitchen floor.

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